So I start and stop. Start and stop. Start and stop. I don’t know if I’m a failure because I keeping giving up or determined because I keep coming back.
I have gained back 5 or 6 pounds since February. I could beat myself up over it or I could just accept it and move on. There have been so many changes in my life
in t his short period of time that I’m surprised that I can even keep up, let alone get back on track. But I’m ready. Most definitely ready.
The place where I work had a monumental event happen in March and 31 people out of 40 people were let go. Praise God I am still there; however, they are
filing for bankruptcy and hoping to carry on – but my job is still in a very precarious position. So that is super stressful.
I’m also in a long-distance relationship and having a whole lot of trouble keeping negative thoughts out of my head. If he misses a phone call or doesn’t
text me with the same amount of exuberance I text him with – all of a sudden my mind is telling me he is cheating, that he doesn’t love me, that I don’t
deserve him, etc. etc. Even though I know he’s a good Christian man, my gut is just telling me there is something wrong. Whether it is because I am very
insecure due to a lifetime of being overweight, or if there is something more to it than that – I just don’t know yet. So my emotions are just going wild.
So lately I have been immersing myself in the Word and in Bible study. I am reading Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind” and she just has a way of
making me understand the Bible. I have also been reading (on my Nook, which I love) “Made to Crave”, which is about turning to God instead of food
when you are depressed, sad, celebrating, etc.
Anyway – I joined a 90-day challenge through my church, which starts the first week of June. I really need the added help because I am really struggling.
I’m sorry I keep disappearing and coming back. I hope to stick around for good this time.