Saturday, May 14, 2011

Back in Action …… Again.

So I start and stop.  Start and stop.  Start and stop.  I don’t know if I’m a failure because I keeping giving up or determined because I keep coming back. 


I have gained back 5 or 6 pounds since February.  I could beat myself up over it or I could just accept it and move on.  There have been so many changes in my life

in t his short period of time that I’m surprised that I can even keep up, let alone get back on track.  But I’m ready.  Most definitely ready.


The place where I work had a monumental event happen in March and 31 people out of 40 people were let go.   Praise God I am still there; however, they are

filing for bankruptcy and hoping to carry on – but my job is still in a very precarious position.  So that is super stressful. 


I’m also in a long-distance relationship and having a whole lot of trouble keeping negative thoughts out of my head.  If he misses a phone call or doesn’t

text me with the same amount of exuberance I text him with – all of a sudden my mind is telling me he is cheating, that he doesn’t love me, that I don’t

deserve him, etc. etc.  Even though I know he’s a good Christian man, my gut is just telling me there is something wrong.  Whether it is because I am very

insecure due to a lifetime of being overweight, or if there is something more to it than that – I just don’t know yet.  So my emotions are just going wild.


So lately I have been immersing myself in the Word and in Bible study.  I am reading Joyce Meyer’s “Battlefield of the Mind” and she just has a way of

making me understand the Bible.   I have also been reading (on my Nook, which I love) “Made to Crave”, which is about turning to God instead of food

when you are depressed, sad, celebrating, etc. 


Anyway – I joined a 90-day challenge through my church, which starts the first week of June.  I really need the added help because I am really struggling. 


I’m sorry I keep disappearing and coming back.  I hope to stick around for good this time.



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